Friday, May 6, 2011

I Do or I Do Not

Few days ago, I was checking my Facebook account when I found an update post from Axioo's Facebook account. A new pre-wedding photo album of Kinsky Bunyamin and Joe Sentoso. What attracted me was the note below the photos, written by the bride-to-be Kinsky herself. Let me share her note here, because I wanna share the feelings I felt when I read it. Feelings that I can't describe. I just can say that it is a very beautiful note, and I wish them a happy marriage that won't last, even though I barely know them =)

I am writing on my tenth-row-seat on a flight from Jakarta to Bali, the last trip to Bali before my wedding, to meet with the local vendors.

Because officially 37 days from now, I will no longer be listed as single, but as wife of Mr. Joe Sentoso.

Let me share a little bit about myself.

Currently, I live with my mom. Dad works in Palembang, and my younger siblings are studying in Sydney. We have Kitkat and Hiro, these two lazy-spoiled-shih-tzus are my mom’s gems and they keep us company at home.

Now lets talk about Joe! Actually He is my type of GUY (physically) ;) hahaha…Oriental-looking guy wearing glasses, tall, smart, broad-shoulders and he has a tattoo. It’s funny because I used to pray to God for a husband with those criteria.

Have you heard that opposites attract? That’s us. Different lifestyles, background, history, age, culture and blah blah blah… It actually opened our eyes, that love is not enough. I learnt that in a relationship, we need Acceptance and Grace.

We are both stone-headed. Our pride makes it difficult to say sorry first. But astime goes by, we have both changed into better people. Joe has always believed in me, He’s the only guy that can see the goodness in me.

And yes, none of us are perfect. You will always find a better one, more handsome or prettier, smarter, or richer. But the decision is always on our hand. Once the decision has made, we have to learn to say what we mean and mean what we say. Decide with integrity.

Moving forward, 3 years later,

I still remember the day he proposed at Tsukinofune (the restaurant we had our first date). It was eight months ago, and who would have imagined time flies this fast.

It has been busy and hectic since then, and sometimes it had kept me occupied that I forgot that the more important issue is not the wedding celebration day but, ‘The marriage life’. Questions popped up and I started having cold feet about the wedding. People say it’s normal, though it usually happens to the guy (-.-“). Leaving my mom all alone at home also bothers me. Not only that. More questions,

“Am I sure that he’s the one?”

“What if he becomes a different man from the one I know now?“

“Am I ready for this? Leaving singlehood and taking on more responsibility?”

Amidst all the preparation, sometimes we get into fights. Handling all the stress and pressure, I realized that I have become very sensitive. (I mean ‘WE’ ahem)
hahaha ;p.

In spite of all these “questions”, what are the important truths that make me decide to walk down the aisle and marry this guy? Marriage is a one-way ticket, you can not turn back or bail out.

I believe Joe is a gift from God. So I will put my faith in God, Whom I know will only give the best for me. Therefore when we first decided to be in a relationship many years back, I always recognized that Joe is a gift from God. A gift I will always cherish and protect.

Have faith. In God. And in your spouse.

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